I'm finding it very hard to stay positive this time. Thoughts that are formed as "what if..." keep running through my head.
I know that I need to take things one day at a time, but it is hard. Last time, I had all hope and confidence that I would be healed. This time, I don't. I just don't feel right.
I am finding it hard to draw up the fight. What's the point?
I know that God has a plan for my life. But, it doesn't seem to be anywhere close to what I had hoped it would be.
I have lots of plans for the summer, and I don't think I will get to do any of them.
I am scared.
I am mad.
I am discouraged.
I am not as strong as you all think I am.
I know that God is with me, but I just don't feel his presence right now.
As hard as I have prayed to be cancer free, he didn't answer my prayer. Why??!!? Why do I have to go through this all again?
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3 comments:
Sheri,
God's plan is perfect. He knew before you were even born that you would have to once again face this cancer. He is not at all surprised...He is waiting to see if you are going to turn to Him. You're right...you are probably not strong, but remember our strength comes from the Lord. He will not leave you or forsake you. I love you & will continue to pray faithfully for you. You have been like a big sister to me since the day I was born. I don't have many memories that do not include you. You are very special to me. You are very to many people. You may feel like you have no strength...our strength comes from the Lord! It's great to know we don't have to come up with it on our own. His plan is perfect. How can we disagree with that? I love you.
Sheri,
You are as strong as we think you are. You want to know why? because you're not alone. Not only is God with you, but you have the strength of all of your family and friends on your side. It's okay to feel scared and mad and weak.... at those times, we will life you up and be the positive force. Your plans this summer will happen-- we'll be sunning ourselves in SC and riding Peter Pan's Flight. I'm with you every step of the way. I love you, and you're one of my best friends.
ms. vantholen,
you were STRONGER than we thought you were. and we all miss you today. ms nevin gave your students some of the carebears today. i got one. we love you.
-greta
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