First Day of Spring Break

Today is officially the first day of my spring break. It is a well needed break. Althought I spent much time off of school this past week, due to a pesky little fever, it was a busy week.

I have no plans for the week, other than to relax and get things cleaned and organized around the house. It is hard to keep up with laundry and cleaning when I am so tired from my chemo.

Speaking of chemo...this week's round wasn't too bad. I haven't had any back/neck pain again and the extreme tiredness hasn't hit me yet. This week is my off week, so I am looking forward to not having any chemo on Wednesday. I do have to go to see Dr. Sharma this week for an exam and blood test. That is a standard thing...there are always exams and blood tests before the start of a round of chemo.

The sun is shining brightly this morning, but it looks awful chilly outside. I think I am going to bundle up and take myself for a walk.

Have a wonderful day!

Joan and Jerry

I had my third session of chemo today after I was released from my two night stay at the hospital. Monday night my fever rose to 102 and Dr. Sharma told me I had to go to the emergency room so I could be admitted. He was worried that I had an infection somewhere in my body.

After taking blood and running many tests, no infection was found, but I started an antibiotic, just to be safe. I thought that I would only have to stay Monday night and would be released Tuesday morning, but I was wrong. Dr. Sharma wanted to keep me there for 24 hours without a fever. I was disappointed but understood his point.

This visit was kind of awkward at first...in the past I have had a private room on 5 North, but Monday night the 5th floor was full so I was sent to 2 North. I didn't realize, until I was brought up there, that I would be sharing a room. My initial thoughts were: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I HAVE A ROOMMATE!? THIS SUCKS!!"

The transport guy from the ER brought me to my room at about 1:15am and my roommate was sleeping, so I didn't get to meet her right away. At about 4am she called the nurse and I got up to use the bathroom. We had a short conversation and went back to sleep. At that point I was thinking that she was very nice and this might not be so bad. In the morning, we talked more and my fondness for her grew and grew.

Her name is Joan and she was there because she was having some difficulty breathing. We had many, many conversations over the last day and a half and she has found a special place in my heart. She is such a sweet woman and her husband is just as wonderful. They will be married for 55 years this May. What an accomplishment!!

We were both scheduled to be discharged today, and I was released first. She shed a few tears when I left because we had such a good time together. I only can hope and pray that she went home as well. She had been there since Thursday and was SOOOO excited to be told she was going home today. It made me smile to see her so happy.

It is amazing how God works. At first, I was so disappointed to have to share a tiny hospital room with a stranger, but it turned out to be a very wonderful experience! Even though Joan had been there for days, and some of them were quite rough, she had nothing but positive things to say and always had a smile on her face. She was very open and honest with me (and my family) about her life. God blessed me by putting me in Joan's room and allowing me to get to know her and Jerry. Please keep them in your prayers!

Monday

I went to school this morning feeling fine. Unfortunately, I was sent home at 2:00 because I had a fever. It seems like the pattern for this chemo is that I get a minor fever on Monday afternoons. It frustrates me because other than the fever I feel fine. Weird. I guess my health is more important than being at school anyways...it just irritates me. Being at school keeps me sane and healthy emotionally. Now I am just relaxing at home, praying that the fever breaks so I can go to school tomorrow.

Easter

I cannot believe that Easter Sunday has come and gone. It was like a blur. I guess that is what happens when you sleep most of the afternoon away. I spent the day at my Dad's with my siblings and dogs. I figured I could crash on the couch there and nobody would care.

This week of chemo was unbelievable. I had no back/neck pain, just extreme tiredness. I was even able to run a handful of errands yesterday morning. What a blessing! I am so thankful to God for that! Hopefully they are all like this week!

Wednesday when I was at chemo I had Mike take a couple of pictures so you guys can have a little glimpse of what I do while I sit there for a couple of hours.

Sometimes I sit and chat with whoever is with me.
Other times the drugs make me sleepy so I nap.

Regardless of what I choose to do on each visit, I alway sit in the same chair in the corner of the room. I always bring my own blanket - a prayer shawl. A woman at my Dad's church made it for me at the beginning of the summer, and it comes with me every time. It is getting pretty beat up, but I still feel it working and it is so comforting to have with me.

Chemo Week Two Under My Belt

I just finished my second chemo treatment this afternoon. I had a blood test to make sure all my counts were high enough to get treatment, and they were.

My white blood cells were actually higher than last week. The nurse thinks there might be (or was) a minor infection somewhere in my body that is trying to be fought off. So, she warned me to be catious of fevers higher than 101, and let me know that I need to call her if that happens. High white blood cell counts to me mean that I can go to school!!

My red blood cells and hemoglobin were a little low so I needed a procrit shot in my arm to help boost those up. Believe me, I have not missed that shot one bit! It hurts like you wouldn't believe!!

My platelets were also up a little bit from last week. Overall, I would say that things are going really well so far!

The whole chemo process, including pre-meds and chemo, took about an hour and a half from start to finish. It isn't a bad afternoon at all. I don't mind going there and chatting. I had Mike take a couple of pictures of me in my corner chair. I will try and post them later so you can see what it looks like when I get chemo.

Thanks for your continued prayer and support!
Smooches!

Chemo Week Two

Tomorrow I have to go for my second treatment of chemo. I'm not going to say that I am looking forward to it, but honestly this past week hasn't been too bad. Friday night and Saturday were a little rough, but if that is the worst of it...NO PROBLEM!! I can deal with a stretch of major bone pain and extreme tiredness because I didn't have any nausea and I've been able to go to school everyday. What a blessing!

From my previous chemo experience I know that the side effects usually get a little worse each treatment, so I am expecting them to this week. I am praying that they don't, but the realist in me says they probably will.

Let's just get on with it and deal with things as they come!! I am a fighter and not too much phases me anymore. God gives me what he knows I can handle and will make me stronger.

Please keep me in your prayers as I venture in to this next few days...
Thank you!!

Palm Sunday

Today is Palm Sunday. Unfortunately, I didn't get to church this morning. I thought it would be best to just lay low for one more day.

I am feeling MUCH better! I slept most of the night last night and don't have much pain this morning. God is awesome! He listens to the prayers of his believers!

So the significance of Palm Sunday is that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a colt, while people laid their cloaks and branches on the road for him to pass over. The whole time they were saying, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest heaven!"

People of Jesus' time knew there was something significant about him. They knew he was different from everybody else, but they didn't fully understand how he could be a king to save us all. It is a challenging concept to fully grasp.

In a couple of days it is going to be Good Friday. It seems almost like an oximoron to call the day that Jesus was crusified "good," but it really was a good day. He took my place. He took your place. He took the place of all those who believe! What a good day! Focus on his life as a sacrifice, so that we may spend eternity in heaven!

Feeling a little bit better

I was able to get some sleep last night. I ended up taking a hot shower, which felt really good on my back and neck. I just had TERRIBLE bone pain...way worse than any bone pain I felt from those shots I used to get.

I have been sleeping off and on all day. Mike just picked me up, so I am over at his house now. My back and neck are still pretty sore, but not nearly like last night. I actually haven't taken anything to eleviate the pain. I am stubborn and I am trying to make it until bedtime. I don't like taking drugs.

Chemo side effects never cease to amaze me. I just hope this doesn't get any worse than it was last night!

God heard me while I was crying out to Him and I was able to sleep! Praise him!

Thank you for your prayers! Enjoy your weekend!

Pain

I can't sleep. I have TERRIBLE bone pain. It is a ligitamate side effect of the chemo, but it is BAD! Vicodin doesn't help eleviate the pain. Ativan doesn't help relax or put me to sleep. I can't get comfortable.

I have been crying out to God, asking him to comfort me. Asking him to take away just a smidge of this pain so I can get a little sleep. As you can see, I am still awake.

I'm going to try a warm shower, maybe that will help...

Day Two

I feel good today! I was able to teach all day.

Tiredness is starting to set in, but I'm not sure if it is because tomorrow is Friday, or because this has been a crazy week, or if it is a side effect of the chemo.

I am just going to sit and relax tonight, go to bed early, and see what tomorrow brings.

New Picture

This picture is from Blizzard Beach at Disney World. Mike and I took his two youngest children there over Christmas break. The weather was HOT HOT HOT! We had a really good time!

Treatment One is Done

Good news! I survived treatment number one. I knew that it wouldn't be too bad. Now I just wait it out to see what the side effects will be. Most likely I will just be tired and loose my hair. My white blood cells will probably drop a little bit, but hopefully not like they did last time! Pray that they are up high enough so I don't have to stay home from school.

I have been taking a steroid twice a day starting yesterday. It has really effected me. I was Miss Motor-Mouth today. Mike was laughing at me today because I was talking his ears off. I finally slowed down a little bit after I got some benedryl at the doctor's office. It didn't put me to sleep, which is what it usually does.

There has been a little change in how these treatments are going to run. I am going to have three weeks of chemo and then a week off. Then start a second round of three weeks on and one week off. Most likely after that second batch I will go for a CT scan to make sure that the chemo is shrinking the tumors. The nurse said, assuming that the tumors shrink, I will just keep getting the chemo until they are non-existant. Then I will stop and see what happens.

Please pray that this chemo works and that the negative side effects are minimal. Thank you!

More to come later in the week...I am going to take the dogs for a walk and enjoy the warmer weather!

With love, Sheri

The Night Before...

I start my weekly chemo session tomorrow. I am becoming a little nervous. Not so much for the actual chemo session, but for the side effects. It is hard to think about all the effects that I had the last time and not be scared that they will happen again. Dr. Sharma and Peg (the head nurse) assure me that it shouldn't be nearly as bad as it was in the summer/fall, but I cannot help being unsure. I am constantly praying that they aren't as bad, and I know that even if they are, I can handle them.


The thing that upsets me the most about having to start chemo again is the possibility of not being able to teach. Teaching 7th grade math is my life. It is my passion and I LOVE doing it. I just feel like if I can't do it, what do I have? I know that I should not even be worrying about this right now. It is all in God's hands. He is in complete control of my life. I am staying positive and keeping my chin up. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen.


I stumbled upon a verse in Mark 5 this week that has stayed with me. But let me give you a little background on the chapter first...Jesus is talking to a crowd of people and a sick woman has just touched his clothes. Instantly she was healed. Jesus stopped speaking and asked the crowd who touched him because he had felt some power go out of him. Eventually the woman fell at Jesus' feet and admitted that she had done it. Jesus then said to her that because of her faith she was healed.

The next thing that happens is that Jesus overhears a group of people tell a a synagogue leader that his daughter has just died. He turns to him and says, "don't be afraid; just believe." He then follows the man to his home and tells him that his daughter is just asleep. Jesus goes into her room and tells her to get up. She got up and walked around!! He raised her from the dead!!

Wouldn't it be so amazing not only to be in the same room listening to Jesus speak, but to touch him and instantly be healed. Or to have him raise a family member/friend from the dead?! I can't imagine what it must have been like. Amazing!

So, the verse that struck me in this story is when Jesus told the synagogue leader "don't be afraid; just believe." I feel like he tells me that too. I believe that I am going to be healed. I believe that I am going to be able to keep teaching. I believe that I will live to see 80 years old.

The peace that has come over me has been tremendous....very powerful. Other than being a little nervous about the side effects I am going to face in the weeks to come, I'm good. I am ready to start this battle and get the foreign beasts out of my body!

Please keep me in your prayers. Pray specifically that the side effects are minimal, my white blood cell counts stay up, and I am well enough to go to school.

Thanks...I will post again soon and let you know how things are going!!

New Chemo to Start Next Week

I heard back from the doctor today as to what my treatments were going to consist of...at this point they don't sound too bad. (Can you believe that I am saying that about chemotherapy?!)


Anyways...I will have six weeks of treatment, with it being one day each week. The drug that I will be receiving is Taxotere. I have researched it a little bit; the side effects don't sound great, but compared to what the last drugs did, this will hopefully be a walk in the park...so to speak.


Right now the plan is to go for treatments on Wednesday afternoons. Hopefully I will still be able to go to school on the other days. I am praying that God allows me to stay strong enough to use a minimal amount of sick days. This first treatment is a test to see how it effects me and how I feel. If I need to adjust the day I receive my injection, the nurse told me I could change it the following week.

I have mixed feelings about starting this new chemotherapy. I am ready to start it because this nagging pain in my back is so annoying. But at the same time, I am nervous and a little scared. I remember what some of my treatments did to me during the summer and I don't want to face something like that again.


God is in control of my life, and I have to remember that when I start to feel nervous or afraid.


My cousin, Sarah, sends daily Bible verses through email and they really lift me up. One that she sent last week was sent with such perfect timing....Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?"


I know that many people that I talk with think I am absolutely nuts for being able to be so positive or cheerful about my cancer. But, honestly, the only reason I can be like this is because of the fact that I am not alone. God is with me through every moment of this. He is in control of my life. He is the Great Physician. He is a miracle worker. Why should I be afraid? I don't have to fear what lies ahead of me. I am not facing it alone. I have all the confidence that He is going to take care of me.

Praise God!

I know that there is this foreign beast in my body and at times it freaks me out. It is almost as if my body doesn't belong to me. It is weird.

It seems like each day I wake up with a new ache or pain somewhere. Fortunately, at this point they are not bad enough to keep me from living. Praise God for that!

Last Thursday, went I went to see Dr. Sharma, he said that he would call Monday or Tuesday to talk about treatment options. The time has passed so slowly since I have seen him. I feel like I have been walking around in a daze. Various thoughts have gone through my head..."this can't be happening to me." "I'm gonna wake up and find that it was all a bad dream." Unfortunately, that isn't going to happen. This is real, and it is happening to me...again.

Yesterday morning I woke up with an incredible peace surrounding me. As I started to tell you yesterday, my devotions were about praising God. I reread them again today because they struck me as being so powerful and true. The author states, that "as your praises go up, God's blessings come down. Praise actually helps to heal your emotions and lift the weight of negativity you're living under."

There is so much in my life that I can praise God for, I would be sitting here forever if I tried to write it all down. I'm going to list a few of the major things...

That God sent his only son, to die on the cross, that I might be saved from spending eternity in hell. As Easter approaches in a couple weeks, I am reminded that Jesus gave his life for me. He was beaten and killed so that I may live forever in heaven. He didn't have to give his life, he even asked God "may this cup be taken from me." (Matthew 26:39) Isn't that amazing?! Jesus, the son of God, gave his life for sinners like me!

My family and friends who continue to love and support me. The people I am closest to have helped me through a difficult moment, hour, or day. I would not be as strong as I am without those who are surrounding me with their love and prayers. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call or a note in the mail or email. Even if I don't respond or answer the call, I am thankful that it came. Thank you!

I praise God for each day that I am able to get out of bed. I believe that each day is a gift from God and he could take them away from us at any moment, so we need to treat each day like it is the last we might be given. It doesn't matter to me if the sun is shining bright, like it was yesterday, or it is dreary and rainy, like it is today. I am thankful for every day that God gives me. I am so thankful that I am able to drive to work, to teach my students, to spend time with Mike, and to talk to my family and friends.

Those are just a few of the many, many things that I praise God for. Life is a gift. Enjoy!

Psalm 100:
"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made up, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Sunday morning

It is an absolutely beautiful Sunday morning, here in the Chicagoland area. The sun is shining brightly off the snow that still remains on the ground.

I am determined to fight this nasty beast that lives inside me. I know that I am not alone in this fight, there are so many that surround me with their love and support. But most importantly, our Heavenly Father is holding me in the palm of his hand. I know that through him I can do ALL things, even kick cancer for a second time!!

More later...as Mike is urging me to finish up so we can go to church...

Change in attitude

My devotions this morning were about praising the Lord. The author stated that it is so easy to give God praise when things are going well in our lives. But, when we face difficulties, it is much much harder to keep a praise-filled attitude.

I am finding that to be so true. I have to try my hardest to stay filled with praise. God gave me four months of cancer free life to do many things. I have to dwell on those times.

I have to be reminded that our God is an all powerful and amazing God. He cares for me and is with me no matter what I am going through.

Satan is so tricky in how he gets in to my mind and puts horrible thoughts there. Once they start, it is hard to shut them out. When I feel them coming, I need to pray or run to God's word. That is what I just did and I am feeling much better.

Psalm 106:1 "Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Please keep me in your prayers.

Thoughts

I'm finding it very hard to stay positive this time. Thoughts that are formed as "what if..." keep running through my head.

I know that I need to take things one day at a time, but it is hard. Last time, I had all hope and confidence that I would be healed. This time, I don't. I just don't feel right.

I am finding it hard to draw up the fight. What's the point?

I know that God has a plan for my life. But, it doesn't seem to be anywhere close to what I had hoped it would be.

I have lots of plans for the summer, and I don't think I will get to do any of them.

I am scared.

I am mad.

I am discouraged.

I am not as strong as you all think I am.

I know that God is with me, but I just don't feel his presence right now.

As hard as I have prayed to be cancer free, he didn't answer my prayer. Why??!!? Why do I have to go through this all again?