Not Tired

What a difference a day makes! It is after 11 o'clock at night on Tuesday night and I am NOT tired, not even a little bit. I have to blame it on the steroids that I am taking though. Ask anybody that is around me on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays...they JACK ME UP! I am a random motor-mouth that just doesn't stop! I must say that I actually like taking them though because they help eleviate some of the bloating that I feel. Now, it doesn't go away entirely, but it makes things much more tolerable. My belly button has gone from a complete inny to almost a full outy. It is gross. Thought you'd like to know that. :)

So, here I sit...in my bed, with my laptop, listening to the radio. Sleep just doesn't want to come. I even took a pill to try to help. It could be a long night, or I could just force myself to turn everything off and toss and turn for awhile. I decided against that for now.

I have painted my toe nails three times. I just couldn't get the color right. My big toe nail is really nasty. It is almost completely black and it has a HUGE ridge in it. It is really weird. It appears as though I stubbed it really badly on something, except I don't ever remember doing that. I think it is from the first round of chemo way back last summer. But, who knows...weird...and UGLY! Thank God for dark colored nailpolish!

I think I have a little bit of heartburn. I'm not sure if it is from something I ate or a pill that I took. But whatever the cause...it is annoying.

Hmm...what else is on my mind...there is this semi-new Matthew West song that I really like. I just downloaded it on to my phone as a ringtone. Right now it is Mike's ringer because he calls the most, so I figured I would hear it the most. The name of it is You Are Everything. For those of you who don't know...Matthew West is a contemporary Christian artist. It starts with a really cool piano intro and the first few lines of the song are AWESOME, well actually the whole song is.

"I'm the one with two left feet, standing on a lonely street. I can't even walk a straight line. And everytime you look at me, I'm spinning like an autumn leaf bound to hit bottom sometime. Where would I be without someone to save me? Someone who won't let me fall. You are everything that I live for, everything that I can't believe is happening, you're standing right in front of me with arms wide open, all I know is every day is filled with hope."

Isn't that awesome!? I totally feel like I could have written that on many days. Seriously, if you get a chance, check the song out. Verse two is just as good as verse one!! It talks about life being filled with big mistakes and big regrets, but that God looks at us as more than that, as if we are more than "just a beautiful mess." I would have to say that this song is probably one of the most influencing songs in my life right now. It just gives me so much hope and reassurance that I am not alone and how messy I feel like my life is, God has it all planned out. And to Him I am beautiful and my life has purpose. What an awesome thought!

Ok, I should probably try to get some sleep. My alarm will go off before I know it and I want to be rested up for tomorrow. Chemo week three for round two. Yippee! That was sarcasm at its finest. I am not looking forward to it. The chemo part isn't so bad, it is the weekend after that can be a little hairy. The best part about this week of chemo is that I don't have to do it again for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!! That gets a WHOO HOOO!

Good night!