Saturday Morning

I don't really have anything to say, but for some reason I just felt like typing something.

I went for my CT Scan and Muga test yesterday. As far as I know they went alright. I probably won't get the results until mid-week next week. I am ok with that. A very wise man told me that God already knew the results before I even had the test. That is so true. I guess when you think about things like that, what is the point of worrying? Wether I worry or not, it isn't going to change the outcome of the tests. So, I try not to let worries creep into my little bald head.

Now you should be laughing, because if any of you have seen my "little bald head" you will know that it is in fact a little bald head. I have to buy petite hats, and those still are big on me. Sometimes I feel like a little kid who has "borrowed" her mom's hats. My wig had to be fixed and sewn to fit my head, which I still feel like it is a little big. I know, I know, many of you think that I am cute with my bald head...but I am here to tell you it is an inconvience. It gets cold when the wind blows and hot when I am laying in bed. The only good thing about it is that my shower time has been DRASTICALLY cut down. I don't have to wait for shampoo and conditioner to rinse out of my long locks.

I am confident walking around my house, the hospital, or the doctor's office with a bald head, but I am not able to just go out into the world with nothing on. A bald woman is not normal in our society. No big deal, I am used to that. Well, one day, I was talking to my sister on the phone, when the other line rang. I clicked over and it was Mike's son, Michael. He needed a ride home from football practice. So, I told him I would be right there and clicked back over to continue the conversation with my sister. I grabbed my purse, threw on my shoes, and was out the door. As I approached my car, I noticed my reflection in the window. I WAS HATLESS AND HAIRLESS!!! I started laughing and told my sister what I had done. She burst into laughter too. Thank goodness I was wearing a hoodie sweatshirt, so I was able to just put up the hood. I don't think I will ever be comfortable being bald out in the world.

You know what else is a really big pain in the butt?! Food. I have normal cravings and desires for foods that I have liked in the past. But as soon as I put them in my mouth...BAM...disgusting. Nothing tastes the same. It really stinks. It makes eating very hard to do, especially during my week of chemo and the second week. A funny thing though, for any of you who have had a CT scan you will know what I am talking about. Well, when you have a CT scan you need to drink this nasty white liquid so it can outline your insides or something like that. Well, I have had to drink it many a time in the last couple of months and let me tell you, it is horrible. But, yesterday when I drank it, it wasn't too bad. I almost thought to myself, "hey this is kinda good." Almost...I definately would have blamed it on chemo brain if I did. I sure hope that my taste buds go back to normal when my chemo treatments are over. I really miss ham and cheese sandwiches!

I hope that I was able to bring a little smile to your face. I know that throughout the writing of this blog I was able to laugh at myself. I know that I have done and said many funny things throughout this process. My family tells me of all kinds of humorous things I said when I got out of surgery the first week. If you talk to my dad, ask him about me worrying that he was going to get arrested that first night in the hospital. Or ask Kevin about Sponge Bob in the painting. What a hoot! Life is too short to not laugh!

Until next time...I love you all and I am grateful that you take the time to read these blogs I produce. Peace!